"Cold Cuts" is the third episode of Season 3 of Team Four Star's DragonBall Z Abridged and is the thirty-third episode overall. It was first uploaded on YouTube on January 28, 2013. The disclaimer is first read by Mecha Freeza, but he starts short-circuiting half-way through, repeating "GT" endlessly. King Cold then hurriedly takes over and finishes (Freeza does start working properly again, but says "Absilon" instead, referencing the fan-made Dragon Ball series of the same name).
Unaware of the young man's arrival, Vegeta announces his plan for taking on Freeza, which consists of everyone else attacking from the front whilst he attacks from the rear and secures the kill. Unsurprisingly, Piccolo and Tien are quick to object to this plan. Yamcha fears for Bulma's safety, saying the battlefield is no place for a woman. Bulma disapproves of his sentiments and proceeds to grab hold of him, asking if anyone knows what ten pounds of torque does to a human ear. Gohan correctly guesses it would rip it off, and then begins laughing. Chiaotzu and Krillin join in the laughter, with the latter predicting that they're going to die horribly.
Meanwhile, King Cold asks Freeza if the newcomer is the one "who hurt you so". Freeza tells him that "this is a new one". The boy addresses Freeza, but mispronounces the tyrant's name "Frieza", believing there's an "i" in his name while Freeza points out there isn't. The boy makes a note to correct this when he gets back and announces that he is here to kill Freeza, causing the latter to chuckle at the very idea and short-circuits again. The tyrant orders his soldiers to attack, but one of them objects, pointing out that the boy has just dismembered an entire squad. Freeza retorts that this isn't his problem, and another soldier gladly volunteers to destroy the boy, believing him to only have a power level of 5. He is quickly mistaken, as the boy deflects a shot into the distance and then kills the soldier using nothing but brute force.
Issuing a final ultimatum to the soldiers, the boy tells them to either leave or die. Freeza counters this by telling his men that he will kill them if the boy doesn't, causing them to attack. We then see nothing but the movement of the boy's sword, and it appears that the soldiers have been left rooted to the spot. This confuses Freeza, and the boy tells him to wait a moment. He then sheathes his sword, and all but one of the soldiers drops down dead. The young man states that it took him three months to learn that move and the only real hard part was the surviving minion's armour, with the top part being torn to shreds, and is seen walking back in terror. Freeza points out that the boy missed a spot and impales the soldier with his hand, killing him.
King Cold angrily points out that they have no minions left, and will now be unable to fly the ship (apparently be believes that flying is for "the help"). Addressing Freeza once again, the boy asks why he has so many spare parts sticking out of him. This irritates Freeza, who tells the boy he is looking at the ultimate culmination of science and nature. The boy responds sarcastically that he hasn't seen that before (referring to the Androids he fought in the future). Somewhat miffed by this, Freeza retorts that the only reason he is keeping the mysterious boy alive is because he requires entertainment until the "Super Saiyan" arrives. This interests the young man, and he informs Freeza that he can fill the part of Super Saiyan just as well.
Initially, Freeza is taken aback, but then begins to ridicule this claim, comparing it to a five-year-old playing police officer. King Cold compares it to Freeza playing Pretty Pink Princess, which embarrasses his son immensely. In the midst of their argument, they are slow to notice that the boy is powering up, and are amazed by his increase in strength.
Sensing the sudden spike in energy, Gohan believes it belongs to Goku, with the only other possible explanation being that Freeza's mom has just arrived. Krillin immediately wonders aloud if anyone else has pictured Freeza with boobs, with no one giving a response. Vegeta tells him he's the only one and mutters to himself that he must never know.
Meanwhile, the boy has transformed into a Super Saiyan. A terrified Freeza notices that his eyes are exactly the same as Goku's, causing him to have a flashback. Refusing to suffer a similar defeat, Freeza starts yelling furiously, and flings a massive Death Ball straight at the boy. Thinking that the battle is won, King Cold orders Freeza to come down, saying they need to call Space AAA. Suddenly, the Death Ball starts rising into the air, and it becomes clear that the boy is not only alive, but is easily holding Freeza's attack aloft. The boy then mocks Freeza by telling him he has "dropped the ball" repeating the last line ad nauseam before Freeza to snap and fires another further blast at the Death Ball, which causes a huge explosion.
The smoke clears, and King Cold remarks that Freeza almost blew up the planet with his last attack. Freeza apologises and admits he got carried away; he then remarks that it doesn't matter as "our little Super Saiyan is dead-dead-dead-cadaverific". Unbeknownst to Freeza, the boy is still very much alive, and quickly prepares his next attack. Yelling to attract his attention, the boy tells his Freeza that "he should split", and fires a blast at him and King Cold, causing both of them to leap into the air. Unimpressed by the boy' attempts to be clever, Freeza attempts to respond, but is left stricken with fear as the boy launches a full-on attack. Both start yelling at each other, and the boy eventually brings his sword down, slicing Freeza in half and causing "the blue screen of death" to appear.
A distraught King Cold watches on as the boy uses his sword to slice Freeza into bits. This is noticed by Krillin and the others, who look up just in time to see the newcomer completely obliterate Freeza with a huge blast. Part of Freeza manages to hit Krillin (on closer inspection, it appears to be his brain).
Gohan thinks that the stranger must be a Super Saiyan, but Vegeta disputes this. When Krillin points out the similarities, Vegeta suggests that the boy is a Super Human, and that the other humans haven't been trying hard enough. When Tien points out that he isn't exactly Super himself, an angry Vegeta tells him to f*** off. He then flies towards the action.
Meanwhile, King Cold angrily tells the boy that he has murdered "my princess", but then appears to calm down. This surprises the boy, who is then asked if King Cold can hold his sword. Not surprisingly, the boy refuses, as he is pretty sure he doesn't like his opponent that much. Starting to lose his cool, King Cold demands to see the sword, and the boy reluctantly hands it over. It seems that King Cold merely wishes to "inspect the craftsmanship", but he quickly attempts to use the weapon to slice the boy in half. Unfortunately, it has no effect, and only convinces the boy that he does hate King Cold.
Blasted into a rock face, King Cold begs for his life to be spared, and offers the boy a planet in return. He increases this to three, but then goes down to two and a half. The boy notices this, and King Cold explains that he is a haggler, resulting in the boy blasting King Cold to smithereens. The boy then destroys the ship, creating a humongous explosion. Watching from afar, Krillin declares this to be a team effort.
The boy returns to his normal form, and greets the group by informing them that he is about to go and meet Goku. He encourages them to follow him to the meeting point. Krillin is initially suspicious, but is persuaded by the offer of snacks. He and the others follow the boy to the meeting place.
Telling them that Goku is due to arrive in approximately three hours, the boy suggests that they all have a drink. Producing a mini fridge from a Capsule, he offers them soda, beer and Hetap. Tien is hesitant, believing it a bit early to start drinking, but Bulma has no such qualms and immediately downs a beer. Krillin asks the boy what his name is, who answers "can't say". Krillin misunderstands this and calls him "Mr. Can't Say".
Gohan starts to ask the boy about Goku, but before he can really answer Gohan's question, Bulma starts hitting on him (think Marty McFly and Back to the Future, people!). The boy nervously responds that his mom told him that he was a cute kid, causing Bulma to state that he's a "mama's boy" and proclaims that she'll be his mommy. The boy responds to this by screaming inside his head while Krillin asks for another Hetap. Bulma then notices the boy's jacket and says that it looks familiar, believing that she made it herself as it has the Capsule Corp. logo and was cut short (which was meant to show off her midriff). In the background, Vegeta ponders as to how the boy can know so much about Goku, but before he can come up with a plausible theory, he realises that someone (Krillin) has drank the last Hetap, much to his annoyance.
2 hours and 45 minutes later, Chiaotzu has become rather bored. Tien reminds him that they'll be going home as soon as they say hello to Goku. Chiaotzu asks if they can stop at McDonalds, to which Tien replies "Only if you're good". The boy looks over at Vegeta, who advises him to keep his eyes to himself, as he doesn't swing that way, stating that he's a real man. Gohan asks Piccolo why he didn't go to the new Planet Namek with his people, and Piccolo retorts by asking him why he isn't hanging out with the other Saiyans.
Noticing that Goku's arrival is imminent, the boy is somewhat relieved. He tells the group that Goku should be landing, but Vegeta is skeptical and accuses him of lying. As Vegeta is speaking, a ship flies past the group and lands nearby. Briefly speechless, Vegeta maintains that "that could be anyone". Eventually, Goku emerges, and frantically tries to warn the others about Freeza. He is met by wild cheering, which confuses him greatly.
In the stinger, Bulma comments on he boy's purple hair, and asks Krillin if he thinks "the carpet matches the drapes". When Krillin asks if hers do, she is offended, but Krillin maintains it was a legitimate question. Bulma points out it's rather personal, and asks Krillin the same question. He states that he does, and that "it's called manscaping".
- Lanipator - Vegeta, Piccolo, Krillin
- Ganxingba - Tenshinhan
- Faulerro - Yamcha
- Megami33 - Bulma, Chiaotzu
- Hbi2k - King Cold
- Little Kuriboh - Freeza
- KaiserNeko - Trunks
- MasakoX - Gohan, Goku
- Takahata101 - GPS
- Marc Swint - Straw
- Remix - Chayote
Running Gags and CallbacksEdit
- Freeza continues to short-circuit at regular intervals.
- The logo on Vegeta's back continues to change, with phrases like "Pull My Hair" and "Blowjob Princess".
- The phrase "cadaverific" from episode 8 is used by Freeza.
- Krillin comments about Freeza being "there... and here... and here..." are similar to how he described Chiaotzu's death to Goku in "The Set Up".
- The word "Space" added on to a word; Space AAA.
Trivia and ReferencesEdit
- This is the last time that Little Kuriboh voices a main character.
- In the disclaimer, Freeza makes a reference to the Absalon series.
- Freeza imitates the Daleks from Doctor Who.
- As the Death Ball begins to rise into the air, we hear the opening lyrics from The Lion King as it appears to look like the Sun.
- When Freeza is sliced in half, the "blue screen of death" appears. It appears when a fatal exception occurs on Microsoft Windows.
- This is the first time Goku appears in Season Three.
- "Freeza" being pronounced as "Fry-zah" (Frieza) may be a reference to ARDBZ (as to mock Funimation's spelling of his name)
- The title is a reference to the Funimation dub of Dragonball Z, where Trunks explains to Goku that the sword portion of the Shining Sword Attack "turned Freeza into Cold Cut".