GOHAN: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.
(cut to Goku and Gohan inside the Hyperbolic Time Chamber)
GOKU: All righty, Gohan. I hope you got plenty of sleep. 'Cause today, we're gonna do some special training!
GOHAN: This is going to be utter terrifying or completely silly, isn't it? There is no in-between with you.
GOKU: Naw. We're just gonna focus on a little bit of basic combat training that Piccolo told me you've been struggling with...
GOHAN: No, you aren't...
GOKU: Today, I'ma teach you...how to dodge.
GOHAN: I really don't think you--
GOKU: YAH! (powers up into his Super Saiyan form, which knocks Gohan back) Now, this is gonna be a Super Saiyan blast. As a non-Super Saiyan, you have no option but to dodge it.
GOHAN: Dad, you really need to listen!
GOKU: Because if you don't dodge this, you'll almost certainly, probably, definitely die.
GOHAN: Dad, I'm serious!
GOKU: Ready? And... (begins charging a blast)
GOHAN: (thinking) Damn you, Pavlov...
GOKU: HA! (releases the blast at Gohan, who manages to catch it, but struggles to hold it)
GOHAN: (thinking) Mr. Piccolo! Krillin! Anyone! No... Nobody is here to save me this time. To save me like always. I can't run from this. I can't dodge this. Well, if I can't dodge... If I can't dodge... Then...! (transforms into a Super Saiyan for the first time and shoots the blast back at Goku)
GOKU: Whoa! (narrowly dodges the blast, which explodes in the distance, and looks Gohan with really excited eyes) Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee! (lands near Gohan, who is struggling to maintain his new form) Well, look at you. And for a moment there, I thought you were actually gonna dodge. Good thing that was only half-strength, or... (Gohan is still seen struggling) Yeah, the first time is pretty intense. My first time was with Freezer. And, boy, was that rough! (Gohan is once again shown struggling) ...So, who wants a haircut?
(cut to the battlefield where Perfect Cell is testing out his new strength by throwing a few punches in the air as Vegeta, Trunks and Krillin, who has tears in his eyes, watch on)
PERFECT CELL: So, who's first?
KRILLIN: GIVE HER BACK! (fires his Kienzan at Perfect Cell, which hits him directly in his neck, but shatters after it passes through)
PERFECT CELL: Ah... (turns his head around) A volunteer. (kicks Krillin hard in the neck, sending him flying through a plateau and several feet across the ground) (Krillin Owned Count: 35)
TRUNKS: Krillin! Are you okay?!
TRUNKS: Do you need a Senzu Bean?!
KRILLIN: (whines again)
TRUNKS: You're right, that is a stupid question.
(Trunks rushes off to help Krillin while Perfect Cell throws a few more punches in the air to clear the smoke and looks over to 16)
PERFECT CELL: Hey.
ANDROID 16: Hello.
PERFECT CELL: So, are we cool?
ANDROID 16: You ate my family!
PERFECT CELL: Hey, don't lose your head! They were my family, too.
VEGETA: (lands next to Perfect Cell and crosses his arms) So you broke the bald one's neck. Bravo, I hope you're not too proud of yourself.
PERFECT CELL: Oh, Prince... I am proud. Not of that, no. But of you. It takes a big man--not necessarily a tall one--to do what you did. Sticking to your guns and just throwing everyone's lives away. And for that, I tip my-- Huh! What is that on my head? Would you call it a crown? 16, would you call this a crown?
ANDROID 16: I hate you.
PERFECT CELL: We'll call it a crown.
(cut to Krillin gasping for breath after getting fed a Senzu Bean from Trunks)
TRUNKS: Oh, good, the Senzu worked! You know, it's too bad you don't have Saiyan biology. At this point, you'd probably be unstoppable.
KRILLIN: I know, right?! Also, Vegeta's gonna die.
TRUNKS: What? How do you--?
KRILLIN: Trunks, do you have any idea how many times I've been hit by someone stronger than me since I became an adult?
TRUNKS: How would I know that?
KRILLIN: Every time! Barring your mother and Chi-Chi... Literally, every time!
KRILLIN: And I know when someone's holding back...Trunks.
TRUNKS: Okay, I can explain.
KRILLIN: I don't think you can.
(cut over to Vegeta and Perfect Cell)
VEGETA: All right, "Perfect Cell"...
PERFECT CELL: Mmm, love the ring to that...
VEGETA: I'm going to enjoy wearing down the knuckles on these gloves.
PERFECT CELL: Okay, I know that wasn't supposed to sound sexual, but...
VEGETA: Now, if you don't mind, it's time to turn your little coming-out party into a funeral.
PERFECT CELL: And, time's up. Prince, while there's absolutely nothing I'd rather do than stand here and listen to you bluster at me until the heat death of the universe, I literally have a million better things to do. So, here's the deal. I want you to hit me as hard as you can.
VEGETA: Oh, is that righ--?
PERFECT CELL: Now, hold on. You might have misheard me. (Vegeta scoffs) Not half as hard, not some arbitrary percentage... I want you to hit me as hard as you can!
VEGETA: And if I don't play along?
PERFECT CELL: Well, then, I guess your father was right about you. (Vegeta lashes out and kicks him hard in the head, which has absolutely no effect on him) Ooh... Consider that nerve touched!
VEGETA: Wha--? (leaps back) Ugh! How?!
PERFECT CELL: Because, prince. Like a soon-to-be broken man once said, "You're either perfect...or you're not me." (kicks Vegeta in the stomach, sending him flying through a couple of plateaus before he manages to stop himself in midair)
VEGETA: ...I'm okay! I'm, uh... (now sounding a bit slurred) I'm, uh... (stops glowing) Fuuuuuu... (collapses down into the water)
(cut over to Krillin and Trunks)
KRILLIN: You've been holding back this entire time!
TRUNKS: Okay, you're right! When I was training in the Time Chamber, I found a way to surpass my father. But he doesn't know! And if he found out...
KRILLIN: Then he'd be mad at you?! Listen, I like the guy, but his default emotion is angry!
TRUNKS: It's more than anger, it's pride! It would shatter him!
KRILLIN: And because of that, 18 had to die?!
TRUNKS: What does it matter?! That was your plan the entire-- (sees tears forming in Krillin's eyes) Oh... Shit. ...Wait, where is my father?
(cut to Vegeta resurfacing on shore)
PERFECT CELL: See, Prince? That's what you get for not listening. But, since I know you have trouble following directions, I'm gonna give you one last chance. You. Me. Hard as you can. Are we clear?
VEGETA: (visibly pissed) Crystal. (begins to float up)
KRILLIN: Maybe you should tell him before he does something completely reckless!
TRUNKS: There is literally nothing left that he could do to make this situation worse. Save blowing up the planet. (cut to Vegeta screaming and outstretching both his arms to begin charging an extremely powerful attack) He is going to blow up the planet!
KRILLIN: BUT I LIVE HERE!
(cut back to Vegeta charging up energy as Perfect Cell watches on with an unimpressed look. Vegeta then thrusts both his arms forward, with lightning striking out between his palms)
PERFECT CELL: Oh, that's much better! I can actually feel that!
VEGETA: In mere moments... All you'll be feeling is OBLIVION!
PERFECT CELL: That, or disappointment. Go ahead...flip that coin. (cut to Vegeta forming an energy ball in palms)
TRUNKS: Father! Your pride isn't worth destroying the planet! Come on!
KRILLIN: Way past the bargaining stage here...
VEGETA: FINAL FLASH! (fires a massive blast directly at Perfect Cell)
PERFECT CELL: Aw, how cute! He named it--OH, SHIT! (gets engulfed by the blast as it's seen travelling straight on into outer space)
KRILLIN: Ah, cool. He missed the planet.
TRUNKS: Thank God he's not completely insane. "Completely" being the operative word.
VEGETA: *panting* Hard enough for you?
(as the dust clears, Perfect Cell is now seen missing his right arm and a portion of his torso from Vegeta's attack)
KRILLIN: Bonus! It actually did something!
TRUNKS: See? Everything worked out! I mean, he's not dead, but, it's a start!
(Vegeta begins laughing)
PERFECT CELL: You... You think this is funny? (Vegeta continues laughing) YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?! (Vegeta carries on with his laughter) It's not...as funny...as your face. (regenerates his right arm, causing Vegeta to stop laughing and look in horror)
PERFECT CELL: You know, it might sound weird, but I kinda liked the old arm better. Oh, well. I'll just have to break it in!
(Vegeta starts firing multiple blasts at Perfect Cell)
VEGETA: WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!
PERFECT CELL: Prince...has this ever worked? (walks straight through the blasts and punches Vegeta across the island) Don't need to answer that.
KRILLIN: Okay, Trunks, you're out of excuses now! He's gonna kill your dad!
TRUNKS: Y-You don't know that! He could just knock him unconscious, and then I'll--
KRILLIN: WE DON'T HAVE DRAGONBALLS, TRUNKS!
(Vegeta is seen standing up and wiping his face with his hand as Perfect Cell stands directly in front of him)
PERFECT CELL: Some advice, prince. For the future. Next time, why don't you remember your place like the rest of them? ...And wait for Goku. (launches Vegeta into the sky with a kick and then appears in the direction Vegeta is flying and delivers the coup de grâce by elbowing him hard in the back, sending him crashing down to the ground, rendering him unconcious and out of his Super Saiyan form) K.O.! (lands near Vegeta) I win! (holds out his hand to finish off Vegeta) Perfect! Hm? (looks up in the sky and notices Trunks to powering up) Oh... Here comes a new challenger.
(cut to inside the Hyperbolic Time Chamber)
GOKU: (singing to himself as he rummages around in the fridge)
♪I like food 'cause it is yummy. I will put this in my tummy...♪ (outside, Gohan seen is training in his Super Saiyan form) Gohan! Grub's up! Now, I might've gotten a little ahead of myself and already finished, but I made sure to save you this. (holds up a meat) So cook her up, son! (throws the meat into the air)
GOHAN: Hiyah! (fires a blast at the meat, cooking it through, and Goku catches it)
GOKU: Mm, yeah! Charred meat with no seasoning, just how Grandpa used to make-- (the meat suddenly bursts into flames in front of his face and gets incinerated, with his hair getting caught on fire) Gohan... What did I tell you about controlling your power level?
GOHAN: I'm sorry, Dad. I'm just not used to my new strength yet...
GOKU: (the flames are now seen spreading through his hair) No excuses, Gohan! You have to eat. And just because the fridge magically restocks, doesn't mean we can waste valuable food!
GOHAN: (notices the fire on Goku's hair) Uh, Dad, I think your hair is on fire--
GOKU: (the flames now cover a larger portion of his hair) Don't change the subject, Gohan!
GOHAN: ... (watches silently as the fire flares up and begins to burn Goku's entire face)
GOKU: *sniffs* Who's cooking pork?
GOHAN: (Goku is heard screaming) Dad, hold still! Uh, geez, uh, listen, I gotta make this quick! If you enjoyed this episode, please like and subscribe! And if you want to see other content from Team Four Star, check out their gaming channel!
GOKU: The fire's spread to my clothes!
GOHAN: Oh, no, uh... Check out TFS Plays: Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm 4! And, uh, oh! And Guns Of Icarus, where TFS and the Super Best Friends go up against Normal Boots, including JonTron!
GOKU: Why did I blow up the tub?!
GOHAN: Stop, drop and roll, Dad! Oh! They have a Patreon, too! Uh, donate there to support the team! And, um, uh, Shark Robot, uh, shirts! I helped make a shirt commercial once, you know! I'm, uh, kind of a voice actor...
GOKU: Okay. Good news, Gohan. I put out the fire.
GOHAN: Oh, thank goodness.
GOKU: Bad news is, I set the door on fire!
GOHAN: Dad, NO!