TRUNKS: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.
(cut to inside the Hyperbolic Time Chamber with multiple ki blasts being seen flying about and Goku as a Super Saiyan managing to dodge one)
GOKU: Boy, I'm glad you're a Super Saiyan now; I've needed a good training partner! (dodges some more blasts and backs into a wall) I don't know Trunks very well, and Vegeta's always so busy...and angry. (leaps out of the way to dodge another incoming blast) And I'm not gonna lie... Sometimes, I think he doesn't like me. (destroys three incoming blasts with a single blast of his own) I mean, who wouldn't like me?
GOHAN: (lands on Goku's shoulders) Maybe you're just too good!
GOKU: Nah, I'm just Goku. (reverts back to his normal state) And speaking of Goku, it's lunch ti-- (a clock falls off the wall and lands on the ground, making him and Gohan, now in his normal state, look at the damage they have done to the Time Chamber)
GOHAN: Well, guess we don't know what time it is anymore, huh? (starts laughing but stops when he hears Goku muttering)
GOKU: (quietly) Don't break Popo's stuff. Don't break Popo's stuff. Don't break Popo's stuff.
GOKU: (much louder) Don't break Popo's stuff. Don't break Popo's stuff.
GOHAN: ...What are you muttering?
GOKU: SIXTH RULE OF POPO'S TRAINING!!
(cut to Trunks screaming as he powers up)
PERFECT CELL: Good lord, the lungs on that boy.
KRILLIN: You okay, Trunks? You, uh, doin' good on air, there? (gets zapped by a spark of electricity from Trunks' aura) AGH!
(cut to The Lookout)
PICCOLO: And there's the twist!
BULMA: Not to be a broken record, but...
PICCOLO: Right! So, uh, no worries, your, uh... Huh, I was gonna say husband, but... Well, I was gonna say boyfriend, but--
TIEN: Your baby daddy is still breathing.
PICCOLO: Yeah, barely.
BULMA: Well, that's a relief.
PICCOLO: On the other hand, Trunks is about to fight Cell.
BULMA: What?! But he's just a baby! (silence) Oh, right...the future one. But he's just a baby!
(cut back on the battlefield)
KRILLIN: Okay, you done?
TRUNKS: Yeah, yeah! I-I'm so sorry about that!
KRILLIN: Hey, man, it's fine.
TRUNKS: My power was rising, I-I couldn't control it!
KRILLIN: No, it's good! Go kill him!
TRUNKS: Definitely didn't do that because you spared the Android or anything.
KRILLIN: Well, obviously! ...Right?
PERFECT CELL: You know, if I had a watch, I'd be looking at my wrist really condescendingly right now!
TRUNKS: Krillin, take this. (tosses Krillin a Senzu Bean) Give it to my father.
KRILLIN: You sure you won't need it?
TRUNKS: No. This battle was over before it began. (starts descending to the ground)
PERFECT CELL: Also accurate! (looks at Trunks as he lands on the ground and dissipates his aura)
ANDROID 16: Trunks, Senzu beans heal physical damage. Only therapy will aid emotional trauma.
PERFECT CELL: Oh, please. There's not a shrink qualified enough to deal with that hot mess! (Vegeta is heard mumbling facedown on the ground) And, speaking of shrink...
KRILLIN: Here it comes...
PERFECT CELL: (starts walking up to Trunks, who also does the same) Krillin, go kiss the prince's boo-boos. The big boys need to talk.
KRILLIN: (picks up Vegeta) Fine, whatever. Leave you to it. Say goodbye, Vegeta!
VEGETA: (gurgling, barely audible) I hate all of you.
(shift over to Trunks and Perfect Cell now standing a considerable distance away from each other)
TRUNKS: I'm going to make you pay in blood for what you did to him!
PERFECT CELL: Oh, don't lie, boy scout. That must have been catharsis by proxy. (chuckles as it shows Krillin carrying Vegeta out of the battlefield) He's gonna be waking up for the next five years in a cold sweat remembering today. (starts laughing)
TRUNKS: I'm not a psychopath like--
PERFECT CELL: Kind of like you!
TRUNKS: Like me?
PERFECT CELL: Does Gohan know, by the way?
TRUNKS: Does he know what?
PERFECT CELL: ...That you let him die.
(waves crash in the background)
TRUNKS: ...I'm going to power up now.
PERFECT CELL: (winks at Trunks) I'd be disappointed if you didn't.
(Trunks starts to power up, which is so intense that it can be felt from up on The Lookout)
TIEN: That's Trunks?
PICCOLO: Yeah, pretty astonishing, isn't it?
TIEN: It's infuriating!
PICCOLO: Why? Because the gap keeps widening?
TIEN: Because he could have a: killed Android 18, b: killed Cell, or c: killed Vegeta!
PICCOLO: Why Vegeta?
TIEN: Because I deserve SOMETHING today!
(cut back on the battlefield with Trunks still powering up with his muscles bulking up)
PERFECT CELL: That's right, keep it coming, boy! I want a real fight this time!
TRUNKS: Don't you worry! I'll show you just how much stronger I am than my father!
PERFECT CELL: Your father--? Oh, no, I'm sorry, I wasn't being specific. I'm referring to the last time we met. Of course, you wouldn't remember, because you weren't there. (laughs) I mean, you were, but...
TRUNKS: Get to the point!
PERFECT CELL: All right, kiddo, tell me. What do you know about time travel?
TRUNKS: Less than I should.
PERFECT CELL: Well, how do you suppose I got here?
TRUNKS: Well, my time machine, obviously.
PERFECT CELL: (nods) Yeah-huh. And how do you think I got said time machine?
TRUNKS: ...I don't wanna answer that.
PERFECT CELL: Here's the thing: multiverse theory's a bitch. Fact is, you--or at least, another you--traveled to the past, saved the world, came back to your future, and finally defeated the Androids! Congratulations, son! You won!
TRUNKS: But, wait. Then when did you--?
(flashback to Perfect Cell's timeline with Trunks in that timeline preparing to go back to the past in his time machine)
PERFECT CELL: So you decided to celebrate! Head back to the past, get your hair ruffled, and finally get that thumbs-up from daddy dearest! But you made one fatal mistake... You took away what was mine. (shows him in his Imperfect form emerging from the shadows and proceeds to kill Trunks and then steal his time machine) Unfortunately, I couldn't fit in your time machine, so I had to revert to my larval state, made the trip to a year before you showed up, burrowed underground for four years, and, well...the rest is history!
TRUNKS: Then... You're here...
PERFECT CELL: Because of you! But please, don't beat yourself up. (chuckles) You're just a child playing hero...complete with spandex.
TRUNKS: And you are just another mistake that I have to correct.
(Trunks powers up once more, bulking up his muscles again, and then rushes forward, landing a punch on Perfect Cell. However, Perfect Cell manages to rebound himself on a wall and appears behind Trunks to kick him away. Trunks stops himself in midair and proceeds to dash up behind Perfect Cell and kicks him in the back. Trunks then flies down in front of the direction Perfect Cell is flying and punches him away. Trunks and Perfect Cell then proceed to engage blows with each other before they both fall back.)
PERFECT CELL: I'm impressed! Behind all that angst and ridiculous, there's a real fighter!
TRUNKS: And behind all that insufferable smarm is a dead man!
PERFECT CELL: Trunks...you couldn't fathom the amount of dead men behind me.
(Perfect Cell and Trunks power up and lock arms with each other, with their hands electrifying with power in the center.)
ANDROID 16: Go, unreasonably buff bird!
(Perfect Cell headbutts Trunks in the face and then kicks him downward. Fortunately, Trunks stops himself in midair and returns the favor by headbutting Perfect Cell, pummels him around for a bit and then fires a ki blast that sends Perfect Cell to the ground and hits a cliffside. As Perfect Cell gets up, Trunks hovers above him while proudly crossing his arms.)
TRUNKS: Now, that might not have done a lot of damage, but damn did it feel good!
PERFECT CELL: Oh ho ho! Am I sensing an iota of pride? Guess the apple doesn't fall far if you shake the tree hard enough!
TRUNKS: That snark isn't going to save you while I'm taking you apart. If you haven't noticed, I've literally got you against the wall!
PERFECT CELL: And don't think I don't appreciate the effort. By a wide margin, you're packing more of a wallop than daddy ever did! However... you will never, ever defeat me with that form.
GOHAN: (voice over) But why? It's so strong!
(cut to inside the Hyperbolic Time Chamber)
GOKU: (in his bulked-up Super Saiyan form) Oh, yeah. In raw power, it can't be beat. But the amount of concentrated energy causes an extreme expansion in mass. The body can't compensate! And while you'll see a fifty percent power increase, you'll see a seventy-five percent decrease in speed and mobility! You'd never hit your opponent! (powers down to his normal state)
GOHAN: D-Did you..? What just...?
GOKU: Whoop! Sorry, was thinkin' about fightin'!
GOHAN: I'm not sure what just happened.
GOKU: Silly Gohan! In a layman's terms...
(cut back on the battlefield)
PERFECT CELL: You can't hit me.
TRUNKS: Then what do you call the last five minutes?!
PERFECT CELL: ...Pity.
ANDROID 16: Trunks, do not worry. He is just playing you. (Trunks charges to attack Perfect Cell, who laughs and easily dodges all his atatcks) Correction: he's been playing you. (Trunks tries to punch Perfect Cell once more, but he merely dodges it and lands on the ground)
TRUNKS: RRGH! Why?! How?!
PERFECT CELL: Because you're green!
TRUNKS: ...Wait, you mean--?
PERFECT CELL: No, not like me, you idiot. As in, you're a novice, an amateur. You're surrounded by fighters who have seen more action in a week than you've seen in your entire life! Hell, at your age, Goku had defeated an entire army, several demons, and sent a rabbit to the moon!
TRUNKS: Did... Did you make that last one up?
PERFECT CELL: And the worst part of it is, that form isn't even new. Watch. (bulks up just like Trunks did and imitates him in a whiny voice) Look at me, I'm Trunks! Please love me, Daaad! (changes back to normal) See? Anyone can do it.
TRUNKS: ...That's a terrible impression.
ANDROID 16: (off-screen) But not inaccurate!
TRUNKS: Why are you still here?!
PERFECT CELL: For God's sake, I bet even your father can do it--he's just not stupid enough to try! And as we've seen today, that threshold is vast. Now, how 'bout you come on down, stop using that useless form, and quit wasting everyone's time. (Trunks powers down to his normal state and slowly descends down to the ground) Jeez, I can't tell which is more shattered. Your father's body or your spirit.
TRUNKS: Just get it over with and kill me already.
PERFECT CELL: Whoa, and spirit it is! Seriously, bucko, way to bring down the mood.
TRUNKS: Is this all just a game to you?!
PERFECT CELL: A game? Hardly. If this were a game, I'd be having fun...or killing Goku. Now that sounds like a good time!
ANDROID 16: That still doesn't make us friends!
PERFECT CELL: I'M TRYING, 16!
TRUNKS: Fine, go ahead! Fight Goku. But when he wins, and when you die, nobody is going to remember you!
PERFECT CELL: ...Huh. All right, change of plans! Turn that frown upside down, boy scout. You're not dying today!
TRUNKS: What in the-- Why?!
PERFECT CELL: Careful, junior, don't want that gift horse to bite you! You've just given me an idea, is all. What would I accomplish killing you here? No... The whole world needs to see what it's created.
TRUNKS: Oh, what the hell are you planning now?!
PERFECT CELL: My revolution. Go take care of your daddy. And make sure to check the news! (flies off)
ANDROID 16: (off-screen) What channel?
(cut to Krillin and an unconscious Vegeta on an island with Krillin preparing to give Vegeta a Senzu bean)
KRILLIN: Well, time to see how well Senzu Beans do with a broken spine. (places a Senzu Bean inside Vegeta's mouth, who swallows it and wakes up)
VEGETA: Where am I? What happened? Uh...
KRILLIN: You may have blacked out a little bit.
VEGETA: But I'm still alive! He must have realized his mistake and run away! (laughs nervously)
KRILLIN: Dude, come on. It's just me.
VEGETA: I... I don't get it. I trained so hard... I reached a new level... And yet...
KRILLIN: Trust me, man, I get you. I mean, my neck's still stiff from earlier! (Vegeta sniffs and starts laughing) I mean, if I had a dime for every time I had my ass kicked, I might not be in crippling debt! (he and Vegeta share a laugh) But-But if I had gotten a beatdown like that, man, I would have hung up my gloves, my blue spandex, my ridiculously pointy hair! (starts laughing again, but Vegeta is seen no longer amused) You're not laughing anymore... (screams in pain as he gets punched in the face by Vegeta) (Krillin Owned Count: 36) Could I get a dime for that?
TRUNKS: Um... Hey, um, if you like the video, please like and subscribe! And, uh... Uh, check out the gaming channel? Uh, they're playing Doom! Um... Oh! And, uh, the Tenkaichi Ironman Budokai Abridgathon! Where you can be the best abridger ever! M-maybe...I guess? Sorry, I guess it's just a little weird that I'm not...dead. Oh, they also have a Patreon! A-and shirts over on sharkrobot.com! Huh. Well, uh, if you don't mind me, I'm gonna go, uh, I'm gonna go have a sit...