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[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(scene shifts to inside the spaceship with Dr. Briefs appearing in a small screen)

DR. BRIEFS: Goku!

GOKU: Hi, Dr. Briefs.

DR. BRIEFS: Goku! What have you done? You've blasted off into space! You're incredibly lucky I already set the coordinates for Namek, but you... (notices Goku holding a muffin) you... Where did you get that muffin?

GOKU: Muffin button.

DR. BRIEFS: But... I... never installed a muffin button...

GOKU: Then where did I get this muffin...?

DR. BRIEFS: Listen very close, Goku. Whatever you do, don't fool with the gravity controls. It goes up to one hundred times Earth's normal gravity.

GOKU: So what you're saying is... if I turn up the gravity, then I can get stronger!

DR. BRIEFS: No! What I'm saying is it will crush your bones! The detrimental effects could be catastrophic! You may never walk again!

GOKU: Bored now. Gotta train. Bye-bye!

DR. BRIEFS: Goku, wai--!

(Goku pushes a button to turn off the TV)

GOKU: ...I like his mustache.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(scene shifts to Dodoria rubbing his face from Krillin's surprise attack from last episode)

DODORIA: (groans as he gets up)

ZARBON: Are you all right over there?

DODORIA: Yeah. Little bastards just hit me outta nowhere.

ZARBON: Oh, trust me, I know what it's like to take a hard one to the face.

FREEZA: Good to see you're still conscious, Dodoria. Oh, and just so you know, it's not a big deal or anything, you might want to get right onto this one, but THEY'RE GETTING AWAY, YOU FAT BASTARD!

DODORIA: (flies after Gohan and Krillin) RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

(scene shifts to Gohan and Krillin, the latter holding Dende, flying through the sky)

KRILLIN: Not gonna lie, Gohan, not your brightest move.

GOHAN: Oh come on, Krillin, we have a two mile lead on him. Factoring in our speed and velocity and his mass, there's no way he should be able to catch up...

(Dodoria shoots a blast at them)

KRILLIN: Well, look who's wrong!

GOHAN: There's always room for error!

(Gohan and Krillin dodge all of Dodoria's blasts before he fires another blast that grazes Krillin, making him drop Dende)

KRILLIN: (thinking while diving after Dende) Oh dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, damm--

DODORIA: (grabs Krillin's ankle) Oh no you don't!

(scene shifts to Freeza and Zarbon in a deserted Namekian village)

ZARBON: How do you think Dodoria's doing up there?

FREEZA: We're talking about one of my finest soldiers. There's no way that they'll escape Dodoria's grasp...

(scene shifts back to battle with Krillin headbutting Dodoria to break free of his grasp)

DODORIA: God dammit!

(scene shifts back to Freeza and Zarbon)

ZARBON: But what if they have any tricks up their sleeves?

FREEZA: Come now, Zarbon. We both know Dodoria would never let them out of sight...

(scene shifts back to the battle with Krillin preparing to a Solar Flare)

KRILLIN: Solar Flare! (blinds Dodoria with an image of Freeza taking a shower being briefly seen)

DODORIA: (covering his eyes) Goddammit!

ZARBON: Still, sir, we have to remember that Vegeta is on the planet.

FREEZA: Oh, please. Like Vegeta could even lay a hand on Dodoria.

(scene shifts to Dodoria flying in the sky before getting attacked and knocked out of the sky, flying straight into the water)

DODORIA: GOD DAMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!

(Dodoria falls into the water and comes up gasping for breath, confronted by none other than...)

VEGETA: 'Sup, bubblegum?

DODORIA: Vegeta! You got some serious balls to get the drop on me.

VEGETA: Funny you should mention that. I just happen to be looking for a set.

DODORIA: Well, look at you, Veggie. All grown up and out on your own. Trying to move up in the world.

VEGETA: And look at you. Packing away more bacon than Hormel.

DODORIA: Very funny. But you won't be laughing when Freeza finds your scrawny ass. So how 'bout I make you a deal? You hand over that pretty red scouter, and maybe I won't point Freeza in the right direction.

VEGETA: (holds his scouter in his hand) Oh. You mean this scouter?

DODORIA: That's right.

VEGETA: Well, I'd be inclined to give it to you, but, you see, there's a problem with it.

DODORIA: And what would that be?

(Vegeta crushes the scouter with his foot)

VEGETA: It's broken.

DODORIA: Blagh! You fool! Now you're as blind as the rest of us.

VEGETA: Not quite. See, while I was on Earth, I learned a new trick. I can sense energy.

DODORIA: How the hell'd you do that?

VEGETA: Uuhna.

DODORIA: Wait a minute! I get it now! Those little bastards I was chasing were Earthlings! You sent them to lure me away from Freeza!

VEGETA: I'm sorry, but at this point, all I hear is, "Hit me Vegeta! Please kill me! God, this armor makes me look fat!"

DODORIA: That's it!

(Dodoria begins firing a couple of blasts in Vegeta's direction)

DODORIA: Mouthy! Little! Prick!

VEGETA: (appears behind Dodoria unharmed) Where ya aimin', dugong?

DODORIA: Uggghhh! (swings a punch at Vegeta, who effortlessly catches his arm)

VEGETA: (jumps as Dodoria tries to spin kick him) Uppsy-daisy! (grabs Dodoria's other and pulls both of them behind his back)

DODORIA: Aaaaaah!

VEGETA: Any last words, before I take you apart like a pink potato head?

DODORIA: W-Wait! I can tell you what really happened to your planet!

VEGETA: You mean that Freeza blew it up?

DODORIA: No, that Freeza blew it up...! What?

VEGETA: Really should have told Freeza to keep off the Twitter.

(shows a shot of Freeza's SpaceTwitter page)

(Vegeta begins tightening his grip on Dodoria)

DODORIA: Please. Don't kill me. I beg ya. Don't kill me-e-e.

VEGETA: Look at you, Dodoria. You were always so damn proud. And now here you are, crying like a woman!

DODORIA: I AM a woman!

VEGETA: Wh-- What?

DODORIA: I said I AM a woman.

VEGETA: WHAT?!

(scene shifts to Gohan and Krillin, who is once again holding Dende, in the sky after escaping from Dodoria)

KRILLIN: Well, good thing I was there to get us out of that one.

GOHAN: Well, yeah, but... Why didn't you use your Kienzan?

KRILLIN: Hey, look, I even saved this thing! Can you fly, little guy?

DENDE: My name is Dende. (starts flying in the air) And yes, we all learned when we are children.

GOHAN: You know, you should probably stick with us.

DENDE: Considering it is either that, or going back to meet the same fate as my brother and father... I am weighing my options...

KRILLIN: I like you! I'm gonna call you Little Green!

DENDE: My name is Dende.

KRILLIN: Come on, Little Green, let's go introduce you to Bulma. (everyone starts to fly away)

(scene shifts back to Vegeta, with darkened eyes, listening to Dodoria's speech)

DODORIA: ...And that's why I was considered the most beautiful—and fertile—woman on my home planet. Before Freeza blew it up.

VEGETA: He tends to do that. Also, huuuugh.

DODORIA: So now you know the truth, Vegeta.

VEGETA: Yes, I do. And now I'm going to start repressing the truth! And the first step is killing you.

DODORIA: W-w-wait! You and I, w-we could team up against Freeza! Rule the universe as husband and wife.

VEGETA: Repressing in 5... (Dodoria is seen being panicked) 4... 3... (Dodoria begins to flee) 2... 1... (fires an energy wave at Dodoria, obliterating "her") Aaaand repressed.

(scene shifts to Gohan, Krillin, and Dende arriving at the cave where Bulma is hiding)

GOHAN: Krillin, that's the cave!

KRILLIN: Hey, Bulma. You clean up in there? We have guests.

(a roaring sound is heard from inside the cave)

DENDE: I do not think I want to go in there.

KRILLIN: Ah, don't worry... That's just Bulma.

DENDE: I do not know what this "Bulma" is, but it sounds needy.

(the trio are seen in front of a capsule house)

KRILLIN: Hey, Bulma, open up!

(Bulma opens the door)

BULMA: Hm? Well, if it isn't Mr. Super Soaker himself. What happened? Got tired of abandoning me and found something else to abandon?

KRILLIN: (as Dende is seen hiding behind a rock) Bulma! You’re scaring Little Green.

DENDE: I am still weighing my options.

BULMA: Oh, by the way, my dad called earlier. He says Goku's on his way here.

KRILLIN: WOOHOO!

BULMA: Aaand he'll be here in six days.

KRILLIN: WOOHOO-- awww... Well, good thing I took out that life insurance policy.

DENDE: Mr. Gohan? Those things on that person's chest. (referring to Bulma's boobs) What are they?

GOHAN: Oh, on Bulma? Those are breasts.

DENDE: They look lovely. I wish to nestle between them.

KRILLIN: ...You are just adorable.

(Scene shifts to an outside view of Freeza's ship. Freeza is seen inside on the Space Skype talking to Captain Ginyu.)

FREEZA: Oh, no, no, Ginyu. We won’t need any assistance. We have this all under control.

ZARBON: (from the other side of a door) Lord Freeza, I wish to enter.

FREEZA: Oh, pardon me. I have to take this. Ta-ta! (shuts down Space Skype and descents to the ground) What is it, Zarbon?

ZARBON: Well, sir, the scout has reported back.

FREEZA: Good. So Dodoria has eliminated those pests, then?

ZARBON: Well... that's just it... It turns out... "she's" dead.

FREEZA: ...The f**k?!

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(scene shifts to outer space with Goku's ship flying through an asteroid field)

GOKU: Now, before I start training... I need the right music to train to. Let’s see here. (pushes a button)

(Paul Stanley's "Live to Win" plays) (Goku pushes the button again)

(Bill Conti's "Gonna Fly Now" plays) (Goku pushes the button again)

(Stan Bush "Never Surrender" plays) (Goku pushes the button again)

(Team America's "Montage" plays) (Goku pushes the button again)

(Lazy Town's "Cooking By the Book" plays)

GOKU: Yaaay!

(spaceship is seen flying off into the cosmos)

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