"The Best Laid Plans of Saiyans and Nameks" is the fourteenth episode of Season 2 of Team Four Star's DragonBall Z Abridged and the twenty-fourth episode overall. It was first uploaded on YouTube on June 29, 2011. The disclaimer is read by Guru, but he falls asleep before saying "Akira" and finishes by saying "RELEEEEEEEEEASE!".
Nail finally stops flying with Freeza, claiming the land they are on is his people's sacred battleground. Freeza says it looks the same as everywhere else on the planet. After some racist remarks, Nail attacks him to no effect. Freeza grabs his arm and rips it off. Nail then surprises Freeza by growing it right back. Freeza rips the newly-grown arm off again.
In Frieza's ship, Vegeta loads Goku into a healing tank. He thinks the bubbles tickle, but laughing hurts. Vegeta tells Gohan and Krillin the tank is an older model, so it will take awhile. When Krillin asks where the newer one is, Vegeta says he "blew it the f*ck up". He tells the Earthlings to strip. After a moment of hesitation, he tells them he has battle armor for them, which Krillin thinks is less awkward. As they change, Krillin thinks it feels like they've been on Namek for a year, when it's only been six days. He then says his armor looks familiar, and asks Vegeta who the other Saiyan with him on Earth was. He starts repeatedly calling to him with, "Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta?" This annoying noise makes the still-delirious Vegeta hallucinate and think it's Nappa. He responds, "Goddamn it, Nappa", which Krillin takes as the name. Krillin thinks they should get Little Green to summon the dragon, but thinks it's a long way to go. Gohan gets him to go anyway. Vegeta tells Krillin not to get killed, God forbid that will make him happy. Vegeta decides to take a nap, and tells Gohan to guard the ship. He orders Gohan not to stray far, wanting his "meat shields" close by. Gohan questions the possibility of bullets ever hurting Vegeta. "Shut up; I'm sleepy." snaps the Saiyan as he walks away.
As Goku deals with the pain of his injuries, King Kai calls in. He starts describing his battle with the Ginyu Force in inadvertently suggestive terms. George Takei, who was listening in, gets titillated by what he turned into a three-way call. Back in their battle, Nail's had his arm ripped off 24 times. He tries to blast Freeza, but that does nothing either. Freeza asks him if he's heard of Planet Vegeta. Nail responds "No", exactly what Freeza wants to hear when he asks someone about Namek. He whacks Nail in the face, and starts laughing, finding satisfaction in doing "grunt work" himself. Surprisingly, Nail laughs, too. It turns out, he's been distracting Freeza while Dende went to the Earthlings with the password for the Dragon Balls. Freeza flies off in a rage, also finding the Ginyu Force are all dead when he looks for them on his scouter.
While flying back to the others, Dende is stopped by a silhouetted person in Saiyan armor yelling, "Stop right there, Namekian scum!" It was Krillin, pulling a joke, one Dende didn't find funny. Back at the ship, Gohan ponders his lot in life, how his only friends are "a 26-year-old dwarf and a giant green alien who constantly hits me". He than snaps that at least they're around unlike his dad, then wonders "Where did that come from?"
Krillin arrives with Dende, and tells Gohan about a plan to get the Dragon Balls and make their wish before Vegeta wakes up. Krillin thinks it's a better chance. They go through the plan smoothly. Gohan checks in and sees if Vegeta's still asleep, which he is (and muttering "First immortality, then the bitches."), then they quietly make off with the Dragon Balls. While he and Krillin are airborne, Gohan tells him "Team Three Star" was not a great name idea; oddly, Krillin agrees. They fly a distance away with the Dragon Balls. As they get settled, they sense Freeza approaching, so Dende summons their dragon, Porunga, who Krillin describes as "on steroids". Porunga mistakes Krillin for an "albino Namekian", which should've been all purged; Dende says they're just annoying Earthlings, to which Porunga says they are ugly.
Porunga tells them they get three wishes. As they prepare to wish, King Kai's voice is heard in Krillin's head. Dende asks if it says his name right. King Kai begs Krillin to get the Z Fighters off his planet before he tries to kill himself. Porunga, however, tells them he can only resurrect one at a time. Piccolo gets an idea: wish only him back. That way Kami returns, and they can resurrect the others with the Earth Dragon Balls. Krillin tells Dende to wish Piccolo back to life, and beam him to Namek. Piccolo's pleas fall on deaf ears, and suddenly he is heard screaming on the opposite side of Namek, calling Krillin a complete dumbass. Krillin asks why he wasn't brought here where they were. Dende says he didn't appear before them because they didn't say where on Namek they wanted him to appear (you must be clear and specific to Porunga when making a wish). Gohan compares the rule to a "monkey's paw", prompting Piccolo to yell "NERRRRRRRRRRRRD!"
Vegeta is woken up by the energy of Piccolo showing up, and first has to pee. Then he notices it's night...on a planet with three suns. When he figures out what's going on, he curses. Before Krillin can use the last wish to get a three foot hoagie, Vegeta appears. After a brief exchange with Gohan, he demands Dende give him his wish of immortality or Vegeta will snap his neck. Meanwhile, at Namek's lookout, Guru feels the dragon's presence, thinking, "It would be a real dick move to die right now." Mid-wish, Porunga disintegrates and the Dragon Balls turn to stone. Dende reports that Guru is dead, and Vegeta didn't get his wish. Vegeta freaks out right before a very pissed off Freeza appears before them.
In the stinger, Kami reappears at his lookout to find Mr. Popo watering plants. When queried, Popo responds that they are marijuana plants, and that he has no intention of getting rid of them. Kami responds that he has no intention of asking Popo to get rid of them, and that the marijuana is great for treating his glaucoma.
- Takahata101 – Dende, Super Kami Guru, Porunga
- Lanipator – Vegeta, Kuririn, Piccolo, Popo
- MasakoX – Goku, Gohan
- KaiserNeko – King Kai
- Hbi2k – Nail
- LittleKuriboh – Freeza
- Ganxingba – Tenshinhan
- WeeklyTubeShow – Kami
- Cha-La-Head Cha-La by Kageyama Hironobu
- Minnie the Moocher by Cab Calloway (co-written by Irving Mills)
Running Gags and CallbacksEdit
- The "thwarting my plans" joke is used again when Vegeta finds out Krillin, Gohan and Dende summon the dragon without him.
- Piccolo yells about Gohan's nerdiness again.
- Vegeta does have a nervous bladder.
- Geroge Takei once again says "Oh my..." after someone says an accidental innuendo.
Major Differences From the OriginalEdit
- Freeza rips off Nail's arm after it regenerates multiple times.
- Krillin in a Saiyan/Freeza's Army uniform reminds Vegeta of Nappa.
- Krillin is reluctant to get Dende to call Porunga; although when he notices Freeza coming, he babbles "Summonitsummonitsummonitsummonitsummonitsummonit!"
- Vegeta tells Gohan to stay near him for a shield in case of gunfire while he sleeps.
- Dende screams when he sees Krillin because of his dislike for Krillin, but Krillin thinks he is screaming because Krillin looks like a Freeza soldier.
- Gohan thinks about how many friends he has.
- Vegeta plans to use another wish other than immortality.
- Much like Guru, Porunga mistakes Krillin for an albino Namekian.
- Piccolo does not want to go to Namek.
- Vegeta wakes up due to his "nervous bladder".
- Krillin considers wishing for a 3 foot hoagie but is never able to get round to wishing for it as Vegeta interrupts. And Guru and Porunga die too.
- First time since "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Saiyan" that Cha-La-Head Cha-la is used for the intro song.
- Freeza commenting that he ripped of Nail's arm 24 times is likely a reference to the number of episodes made.
- Mr. Popo is humming "Because I Got High" by Afroman.
- Gohan mentioning a "monkey's paw" references the 1902 horror novel The Monkey's Paw by W.W. Jacobs.
- First appearance of Kami since his death in "The Set Up". He's now voiced by Remix
- When Vegeta yells, the word 'Motherfucker' is uncensored, but is made quieter.