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The Punchline (Part 3)/Transcript

< The Punchline (Part 3)

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[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(scene opens up with Vegeta recovering from the Spirit Bomb)

VEGETA: You know, at a time like this I really only have one thing to say to you... Bitch slap!

KRILLIN: Oh snap!

(Vegeta slaps Krillin, knocking him down and whining in pain)

(Krillin Owned Count: 10)

VEGETA: (walks up to the remaining Z-Fighters) And as for the rest of you... I’m going to end this, with a Big Bang... kind of attack.

(Vegeta begins gathering up energy)

GOKU: Oh, this isn’t going to end well... (closes his eyes)

(Vegeta screams and unleashes an explosive attack, causing Krillin, Goku and Gohan, who gets knocked away, to scream)

VEGETA: (breathes heavily and notices that everyone's still alive) Oh, you have got to be kidding me! They’re still alive?! Oh to hell with it... (begins floating and lands next to Gohan, with an arrow pointing to his tail)

VEGETA: (thinking) I may not have enough energy to kill you all at once, (begins walking towards Gohan) but I can still kill all of you without any troub--

(Yajirobe comes out of nowhere and slashes Vegeta'a armor with his katana)

VEGETA: You... You cut through my armor! This was a gift from my father!

YAJIROBE: I’m sorry, I’m sure your father was a great man!

VEGETA: I hated my father!

YAJIROBE: Well then, I’m sure your father was a total prick.

VEGETA: (punches Yajirobe in the face) How dare you talk about my father like that!

(Yajirobe gets sent flying into a pile of rocks)

VEGETA: (while beating up Yajirobe) Finally, I can just sit back and enjoy myself. No cares in the world! (Gohan is seen staring at Vegeta's artificial moon) I can beat these worthless cretins all day long and I-- (stops attacking Yajirobe) I think I’m forgetting something...

(Gohan begins his transformation into an Ōzaru)

VEGETA: Oh dammit, the kid-- that’s right! (in his thoughts) Oh wait, I’ll just become the mighty Ōzaru and... Wait, I don’t have my tail! (out loud to Yajirobe) This fat bastard cut it off!!

YAJIROBE: Haha-- (gets hit) Ungh!

VEGETA: (begins attacking Gohan to stop his transformation) No, no, stop it! Stop it, damn you! Why?! Why won't you people just diiie?! (Gohan fully transforms into an Ōzaru)

KRILLIN: (noticing Gohan as an Ōzaru) Yay! Gohan’s transformed! He’s gonna save us all!

(Ōzaru Gohan roars and smashes rocks)

KRILLIN: (covering his head) Oh no! Gohan’s transformed! He’s gonna kill us all!

(Ōzaru Gohan roars and grabs a huge rock)

GOKU: Gohan? This is Daddy... I know you’re angry right now, but you have to focus your anger. Re-Remember Icarus?

(shows a flashback of Icarus getting blasted. Ōzaru Gohan is angry)

GOKU: (to Vegeta) He did it!

(Ōzaru Gohan roars in anger)

VEGETA: Oh, that's bulls***! (dodges Ōzaru Gohan's attack) I haven't killed a damn thing since I got to this godforsaken planet! (Looks at camera) Not for a lack of trying, mind you.

(Ōzaru Gohan continues to attack Vegeta)

VEGETA: (to Yajirobe) Hey fatass, wanna take off this one’s tail too?

(cuts to Yajirobe groaning in pain)

VEGETA: FINE! I’ll DO IT MYSELF, THEN! (fires a Destructo Disk at Gohan's tail, cutting it off) Haha! I did it! I’m the best, around! (Ōzaru Gohan begins shrinking in front of Vegeta) No one's ever going to keep me down... (notices Ōzaru Gohan falling right above him) No... (Ōzaru Gohan falls on top of him) NOOOOO!!

(Vegeta gets crushes by Ōzaru Gohan, cuts to Vegeta badly injured with Gohan, naked and unconscious, lying on top of him)

VEGETA: (thinking) Crushed and broken beneath an unconscious naked child... (takes out a small remote control device to call his space pod) Yep, I think I’m done here...

(cuts to the ruins of East City where a number of radiation-suited investigators are gathered around Vegeta and Nappa's space pods)

KIRK: So Mr. Spock, what do you make, of this... ship?

SPOCK: Well sir, I would have find it highly illogical to refer to this as a "ship"; the spherical design incorporates no propulsion system. It looks more like an orbiting vessel, or a satell-- (Vegeta's space pod becomes active and flies away) Aaah!

KIRK: Suck it, Spock!

(cuts back to the battlefield with Vegeta's space pod landing in front of him)

VEGETA: (thinking while flipping himself over) Alright, I’m just gonna get in my ship... (starts crawling to his pod) I’m gonna fly back to Freeza Station... And I’m gonna sleep this off like a baaad hangover...

KRILLIN: (appears next to Vegeta holding Yajirobe's katana) You’re not going anywhere! You think you can kill all of our friends and threaten our lives and just leave??

VEGETA: Would you be surprised if I said "yes"?

KRILLIN: I’m going to end this, and YOU, RIGHT NOW! NOW DIE!!

(Krillin prepares to kill Vegeta with Yajirobe's katana, but stops short)

GOKU: Krillin, wait! Vegeta, are you sorry?

VEGETA: Wh-What?

GOKU: If you say you’re sorry Vegeta, you can leave.

VEGETA: You can’t be serious...

KRILLIN: What are you talking about Goku? He killed all of our friends!

GOKU: But Krillin, if he’s sorry—truly sorry—then there’s nothing we can do.

VEGETA: I’m sorry. Yep, totally sorry. I just feel terrible.

GOKU: Let him go, Krillin.

KRILLIN: But-But Goku...

VEGETA: (now inside his space pod) Yes, I am very, very, very sorry... (space pod closes) That you’re all still alive! (blasts off into space) SUCKERS! (starts laughing from inside his pod) Ah, it hurts to laugh!

NARRATOR: And so our heroes looked towards the sky, their battle finally over and victory on their side. Many lives were lost, many lessons were learned, and I made out with a cool one hundred thou!

(cuts to King Kai's planet)

KING KAI: You cheating son of a--

NARRATOR: Can’t hear you, don’t care! Now where was I... (cuts back to Earth) how will our heroes bring back their fallen compatriots? What new dangers will present themselves? Has anyone really not seen this show already? Find out in the next season of DragonBall Z Abridged!

(scene cuts to Vegeta's space pod flying through outer space)

VEGETA: (thinking) They’ve broken my body... I failed in my mission to find the Dragon Balls... I even lost my tail... but at least... it can’t get any worse from here...

???: Vegeta... Vegeeeeetaaaaa...

VEGETA: Wh-What?

NAPPA: (appears as a ghost) I'm haunting you.

(Vegeta's space pod is seen flying off into the distance)

VEGETA: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

(credits roll with Ghost Nappa's theme song, a parody of the Ghostbusters theme song, playing in the background)

♪Vegegeta-geta gegegegegeta♪

♪Vegegeta-geta GHOST NAPPA! Yeeeah!♪

♪If there’s something strange, in your neighborhood.♪

♪Guess who it is? GHOST NAPPA!♪

♪Is it something weird? And it don’t look good.♪

♪Guess who it is? GHOST NAPPA!♪

♪Yo, Vegeta-geta-geta-geta-getageta♪

♪Geta-geta-geta-you know you love me as a ghost-geta♪

♪Geta-geta-geta-geta-getageta♪

♪Geta-geta-geta-geta-WHOOOOO!♪

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