FANDOM


[DISCLAIMER]

VEGETA: This is a parody! Official release! Support Akira Toriyama!

(cut to a Saiyan space pod crashing down on Earth, with Raditz landing in front of the crater)

FARMER WITH SHOTGUN: You're an alien!

RADITZ: I'm an alien.

PICCOLO: Am I an alien?

RADITZ: Probably. Where's my brother?

PICCOLO: I dunno.

RADITZ: Then you're useless to me! (flies off)

[KAI OPENING SEQUENCE]

GOKU: Dragon Soul!

(cut to Goku and Gohan at Kame House)

GOKU: I have a kid.

GOHAN: I'm socially awkward.

KRILLIN: He's adorable. (gets blasted through a wall by Raditz. The Krillin Owned Count rapidly rises before exploding.)

RADITZ: I'm here for my brother.

GOKU: Am I your brother?

RADITZ: Yes.

(shows everyone's shocked faces along with a picture of M. Night Shyamalan)

RADITZ: (is seen holding Gohan) I'm taking your son.

GOKU: No, you're not! (gets kneed in the stomach by Raditz, who then flies off) Ahhh! He took my son!

PICCOLO: I'm here to help you.

GOKU: Aren't we enemies?

PICCOLO: Nobody watched DragonBall. Let's go! (he and Goku fly off)

GOKU: Are you a Yoshi?

PICCOLO: Hells yeah!

(cut to Goku and Piccolo about to face off against Raditz)

GOKU: Give me back my son. (Raditz unzips his fly) Gross.

PHIL SEBBEN: Ha-ha! (Raditz beats up Goku and Piccolo and then gets headbutted by Gohan and put in Full Nelson by Goku)

GOKU: Piccolo, get him!

PICCOLO: Makansapalapaka! (hits Goku and Raditz with the Special Beam Cannon)

VIDEO GAME ANNOUNCER: Double kill! (Goku and Raditz fall to the ground)

GOKU: And now I am the dead. Bleh. (dies)

KRILLIN: Oh, no, Goku's dead!

VEGETA: (speaking through Raditz's scouter) Hey Nappa, let's go to Earth.

NAPPA: (speaking through Raditz's scouter) Ballin'.

KRILLIN: Oh, no, more Saiyans!

PICCOLO: I'm taking Gohan. (takes Gohan and flies away)

(cut to Mr. Popo on Kami's Lookout along with Krillin, Yamcha, Tien holding Chiaotzu, and Yajirobe)

MR. POPO: Hi, maggots. I'm training you. I'm terrifying and a potential rapist. But I'll never say it flat-out. (short pause) BAH!

KRILLIN: Ahhhh!

(cut to Piccolo training Gohan)

PICCOLO: Dodge! (kicks Gohan)

GOHAN: Ahhh!

(cut to King Kai's planet)

BOJACK: (from inside the planet) Yarr!

GOKU: Who are you?

KING KAI: I'm King Kai you now know the Kaio-Ken and the Spirit Bomb. F**k off. Shut up, Bojack.

(cut to Piccolo and Gohan on Earth)

PICCOLO: Twelve months have passed, let's go fight Saiyans.

KRILLIN: Oh, God, it's the Saiyans!

VEGETA: Hi.

KRILLIN: Yamcha's here. (Yamcha gets blown up by a Saibaman)

KRILLIN: Yamcha's dead!

VEGETA: Nappa, get'em.

NAPPA: I am hilarious and you will quote everything I say.

KRILLIN: Tien, get'em!

TIEN: I am the only serious character in this show, that's the joke.

(Chiaotzu, Tien, and Piccolo die)

KRILLIN: Oh, God, everyone's dead.

NAPPA: Hilariously derailing one-liner.

GOKU: Goku's here!

KRILLIN: Goku's here!

VEGETA: (crushes his scouter) It's over nine thousaaaaaaaaaaa...

NAPPA: (screaming with Vegeta) Aaaaaaaaaa...

VEGETA: ...aaaaaaaaa...

NAPPA: ...aaaaaaaaa...

VEGETA: ...aaaaaaaa...

NAPPA: ...aaaaaaaa...

VEGETA: ...aaaaaaa...

NAPPA: ...aaaaaaa...

VEGETA: ...aaaaaa...

NAPPA: ...aaaaaa...

VEGETA: ...aaaaa...

NAPPA:: ...aaaaa...

VEGETA: ...aaaa--

(Vegeta kills Nappa)

NAPPA: Vegeta why?!

VEGETA: Because I'm a monkey.

(Vegeta transforms into an Ōzaru)

GOKU: Kaio-Ken!

VEGETA: Kaio-what? Ahh!

(Vegeta gets tail cut off by Yajirobe and turns back to normal)

VEGETA: Oh, no, I'm not a monkey! Oh, no, the kid's a monkey! (notices Gohan as an Ōzaru) Destructo Disc! (throws Destructo Disc at Ōzaru Gohan's tail)

KRILLIN: The f**k?

(Destructo Disc cuts off Ōzaru Gohan's tail)

VEGETA: Yay! (Ōzaru falls on top of Vegeta) No! (gets crushed by Ōzaru Gohan) Leaving now.

(Vegeta leaves in his space pod)

GOKU: And we'll never see him again.

VEGETA: (thinking) They'll see me next episode.

GHOST NAPPA: And I'm a ghost, or am I?

[KAI ENDING SEQUENCE]

GOKU: Dragon Soul!

(cut to Yami from Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series in front of a computer with the DragonBall Z Kai Abridged logo on the monitor)

YAMI: This has how many subscribers?

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.